Thursday, June 19

Indiana Jones and the Curse of the Shoddy Sequel

I won't say there weren't brief moments of non-suckitude in the new Indiana Jones movie, but sometimes it takes a painfully funny piss-take to make you realize what a piece of fossilized alien dookie it really was.
CATE takes the skull and places it on a THRONE. It then turns into an ACTUAL ALIEN and makes her head explode. The ALIENS pile into a GIANT UFO and fly off into SPACE.

HARRISON FORD

Wow. Considering that the first movie revolved around a magical box made by God that melts faces when opened, it’s really astonishing that this movie managed to be so incredibly stupid by comparison.

JOHN HURT

I can’t believe that the crystal skull wanted you to return it to the city just so that aliens could have blown your head up. Those aliens are total assholes.

SHIA LABEOUF

Seriously, what kind of jerks would intentionally trick people into thinking they were going to get something awesome, but then give them something so awful it makes their brains melt instead?

1 comment:

JDizzle said...

Adam, I am so with you. When we left the theater, Beeps asked me if we could stop by Target to buy some wash cloths so he could scrub the shit off of himself.

And what was up with Shia swinging through the jungle like Tarzan with those bad CG'd monkeys? WTF?