Tuesday, June 19

The Next Food Network Star

I hate reality shows and with a few exceptions (Oliver, Lawson, Batali, Bastianich) don't really like cooking shows either, and so never really considered watching 'The Next Food Network Star.'

However, Anthony Bourdain -- another TV cook who I actually like -- has me thinking that the show is so goddamn awful that it might be worth it.
Yes. Of course I watched NEXT FOOD NETWORK STAR. Minimally talented wannabe cooks of negligable to moderate experience compete to become "Celebrity Chefs" based on a focus group-like criteria of "likeability" while food and cooking ability (such as it is) take a distant back seat. All to record breaking ratings for FN!

I love it.

...

Michael has no chance--as he's too capable, too professional and too experienced. Even if he GOT the gig, he'd no doubt quickly hang himself from shame when he got the Full Picture. ( "Michael! It's a Holiday Special! Our research shows that audiences want to see you nibbling corn nuts out of Sandra Lee's ass under the mistletoe!You have no problem with that, right?)
Another installment of Bourdain's blog has this:
I made myself a pitcher of Negronis, booted some crystal meth, ordered out for pizza and some take-out uni and setttled in for another exciting week of Slaughterfest. And here's what happened:

Daryl Dawkins lumbered in as guest judge. The perfect candidate really..as he's about as irrelevent to the world of food and cooking as any human could be. Genius! Next week, it's Joe Piscopo.

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