Wednesday, May 23

I can see the fewchah bruthah!

In honor of tonight's Lost season finale -- which show's powers that be inevitably promise to be "a game changer" -- I pass on this awesomely skewed, very inside baseball, piss-your-trousers-tastic Season 3 recap.

As the author observes, Jack likes sammiches. And crying.



So then Desmond pops up (lol) naked in the jungle and Hurley's all like IS THAT HAGGIS IN YOUR POCKET OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME, DUDE? And Desmond's like AYE OCH BROTHAH I CAN SEE THE FEWCHAH! Now get me a tie-dye dress!
UPDATE: Entertainment Weekly's "Lost" savant Doc Jensen weighs in with...

THE TOP FIVE THINGS YOU WILL NOT SEE IN THE LOST FINALE


5. Rose quietly snuffing the life out of Bernard by holding his nostrils closed while looking distractedly at Aaron's car seat.

4. Hurley feeling a great disturbance in the Force (''as if many voices cried out and were suddenly silent'') because his cousin back in Valencia, Calif., was blown up in a nuclear explosion and no one seemed to give a crud.

3. Kate and Juliet doing each other's hair and nicknaming Jack ''McIntensey'' and Sawyer ''McMurderedTheManWhoConnedHisParentsy.''

2. A character travelling back in time to warn all the other characters to do something, but by doing that something, they prevent a future that might have happened but never did had the character not travelled back in time, thus negating the entire reason behind everything.

1. Sanjaya.

1 comment:

Jeff said...

At first glance and before reading this post, I thought that picture was a shot from the upcoming Geiko Caveman sitcom.