Thursday, May 24

Lost Season 3 wraps it up: Jack to the Future

Beware spoilers all ye who enter here...

A coupla random thoughts and questions:

-- Jack is a hateful cry-baby loser.

-- I very carefully freeze-framed the newspaper Jack got on the plane, and even with my ginormous projector couldn't glean any interesting details.

One partial headline read:
Residents Speak.....
Proposed Coastal...
I'm sure the Lost powers-that-be planned out very carefully what would and wouldn't be visibile to HDTVophiles.

-- HOWEVER...someone at the Lost Easter Eggs blog has determined that the headline came from an actual LA Times article from April 5, which seems to be about when the finale was being filmed. As the blog notes, "the date would indicate that the time [of Jack's flash-forward] is the present."

-- Later we see the newspaper fragment in more detail, which according to the freezefame appears to read "Man Found in Downtown ... (Hotel?)":
(Extra hi-rez version here with a few more visible words)

-- The funeral home with the mysterious coffin dweller (I think they carefully avoided assigning a gender) is called "Hoffs Drawlar," which is an anagram for "Flash Forward." Is it me or does the coffin look child-sized?

-- Was Jack's dad really alive in the flash-forward (if so WT-effing-effing-F?!) or was he just tripping his balls off on hillbilly crack aka oxycontin?

-- Was Charlie's improbably perfect rendition of “Good Vibrations” on the underwater station's keypad a massive shoutout to the scene in "The Goonies" when Andy played the bone organ? (And no, that's not a double entendre, it was an actual pipe organ made of bone)

Good lines:

"Since when do you call me Kate?"

"That’s for taking the kid off the boat."

"Help me tie him up."

"Dude, I saved everybody!"

New White Stripes

Madison Square Garden, July 17, here I come...

Wednesday, May 23

I can see the fewchah bruthah!

In honor of tonight's Lost season finale -- which show's powers that be inevitably promise to be "a game changer" -- I pass on this awesomely skewed, very inside baseball, piss-your-trousers-tastic Season 3 recap.

As the author observes, Jack likes sammiches. And crying.

So then Desmond pops up (lol) naked in the jungle and Hurley's all like IS THAT HAGGIS IN YOUR POCKET OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME, DUDE? And Desmond's like AYE OCH BROTHAH I CAN SEE THE FEWCHAH! Now get me a tie-dye dress!
UPDATE: Entertainment Weekly's "Lost" savant Doc Jensen weighs in with...


5. Rose quietly snuffing the life out of Bernard by holding his nostrils closed while looking distractedly at Aaron's car seat.

4. Hurley feeling a great disturbance in the Force (''as if many voices cried out and were suddenly silent'') because his cousin back in Valencia, Calif., was blown up in a nuclear explosion and no one seemed to give a crud.

3. Kate and Juliet doing each other's hair and nicknaming Jack ''McIntensey'' and Sawyer ''McMurderedTheManWhoConnedHisParentsy.''

2. A character travelling back in time to warn all the other characters to do something, but by doing that something, they prevent a future that might have happened but never did had the character not travelled back in time, thus negating the entire reason behind everything.

1. Sanjaya.

Monday, May 21

Ultimate Spoiler T-Shirt

Can you name all the movies and TV shows?

Friday, May 18

Guitar Heros: The Band

Guitar Zeros: two 'Guitar Hero' controllers, zero actual guitars

Does Kokfarm know about this?

My dog can beat you at Wii Tennis

Homeland Security: More Questions Than Answers

From SNL -- watch now before GE unleases its copyright lawyers from hell.

Monday, May 14

Wednesday, May 9


My friend Lisa just alerted me to an exciting new development in the field of pork-based de-sleepification. I think I'll let the pictures do the talking.

Sadly, this revolutionary product is not yet in stores. I guess I'll have to stick with my current method: Duct-taping Jimmy Dean's breakfast sausages to my Sony Dream Machine.

You've crossed me for the last time, Solo!

The AP is definitely leading the pack for the headline of the year:

Skywalkers in Korea cross Han solo

SEOUL, South Korea - They came from all over the world, poles in hand, and feet ready to inch more than half a mile across a high wire strung over the Han River in a spine-tingling battle of balance, speed and high anxiety.

As part of its annual city festival, the South Korean capital staged Thursday what was billed as the world's first high-wire championship, drawing 18 contestants from nine countries for three days of supreme feats of concentration.

Each acrobat must navigate the 1.2-inch-thick wire that spans the river, with the top prize of $15,000 going to the person crossing it fastest.


Wii Karaoke

Need I say more?

Tuesday, May 8

Ratio of Money: Problems = 1:1

Biggie was right!

Where can I get those sunglasses?

From Jake Dobkins voluminous grafitti photos.

You can really taste the octopus balls

From the brilliant toyko mango blog:

"The Japanese love weird canned drinks and octopus balls, so it's only natural that there would be an octopus ball soda. I'd just never seen one before now."

Ok, at this point I should probably note that the balls in question are not in any way, shape, or form, testicular. Ok, maybe "shape." But would you have really read this post if I had announced octopus dumpling soda? Ok, maybe you would have.

Vive la France? Non

From Found magazine:

Apparently the election of pro-U.S. Nikolas Sarkozy as the president of France hasn't won over those hard-asses at the U.S. Mint. Either that, or it's some kook with a rubber stamp.

Caption Contest II: The Dink and the Royal We

What the hell happened, Cate?

Ms. Blanchett is one of my favorite actresses. I spent a very enjoyable plane flight last week watching "Notes on a Scandal" and "The Good German" back to back. Show me someone else who can play a desperate teacher who sleeps with her teenage student, and then a battered, conniving German prostitute.

But what the HELL is up with THIS?

Seriously, get her a XXXXL chocolate malt, stat.

Submit your own caption

Monday, May 7

The New Yorker's Lauren Collins manages to crack the publicity-shy facade of famed grafitti artist Banksy, at least via email, and was also given a custom made artwork:
One Friday at the end of April, when I checked my e-mail there was a message from Banksy.

“Hello there,” it went. “Thanks for taking an interest in my stuff.”

Banksy agreed to answer some questions over e-mail. He was wryly eloquent, but his banter seemed less playful than it has in the past. “I don’t think art is much of a spectator sport these days,” he began. “I don’t know how the art world gets away with it, it’s not like you hear songs on the radio that are just a mess of noise and then the d.j. says, ‘If you read the thesis that comes with this, it would make more sense.’ ”

I’d heard that Banksy had become “increasingly paranoid,” and I wondered whether the accusations of hypocrisy had worn on him, and whether he was able to enjoy his success. “I have been called a sellout, but I give away thousands of paintings for free, how many more do you want?” he wrote. “I think it was easier when I was the underdog, and I had a lot of practise at it. The money that my work fetches these days makes me a bit uncomfortable, but that’s an easy problem to solve—you just stop whingeing and give it all away. I don’t think it’s possible to make art about world poverty and then trouser all the cash, that’s an irony too far, even for me.” He went on, “I love the way capitalism finds a place—even for its enemies. It’s definitely boom time in the discontent industry. I mean, how many cakes does Michael Moore get through?”

“Why do you do what you do?” I asked.

Banksy replied, “I originally set out to try and save the world, but now I’m not sure I like it enough.”

We discussed his mural in Bristol (“I think because it turned out there was a sexual-health clinic on the other side of the wall helped, which just goes to show—if you paint enough crap in enough places sooner or later one of them will mean something to someone”) and the city council’s decision to preserve it (“I think it’s pretty incredible a city council is prepared to make value judgments about preserving illegally painted graffiti. I’m kind of proud of them”).

For a cipher, Banksy was surprisingly direct: “Maintaining anonymity can be kind of crippling. I gave a painting to my favorite pub to settle a tab once, which they hung above the bar. So many people came in asking questions about it I haven’t been back there for two years.

“In retrospect getting your work in the newspapers is a really dumb thing to do if what you do requires a certain level of anonymity. I was a bit slow there. Brad Pitt told a journalist ‘I think it’s really cool no one knows who he is’ and within a week there were journalists from the Daily Mail at the door of my dealer’s dad’s chip shop asking if he knew where they could find me. All the attention meant I lost some of the element of surprise. A few days after the show in Los Angeles opened I was painting under a freeway downtown when a homeless guy ran over and said, ‘Hey—are you Binsky?’ I left the next day.”

Not so super Mario

What happens after Mario saves the Princess and they both move to Brooklyn. (Hint: he gets strung out on one-up mushrooms and the Princess complains he hasn't "plumbed" anything in months.

Thursday, May 3

If your Wii is orange, please consult a physician

You just had to be different, didn't you? Had to have a Wii that was a different color than all the other kids?