After spending a very strange evening in the NYU sleep lab, wired up to a few dozen electrodes that were in turn connected to big black box that left me looking like Darth Vader's idiot cousin (see right), I got my diagnosis: idiopathic hypersomnia -- known to my friends as idiotpasick hypersomnia -- which basically means I sleep too much and they don't know why.
I did, however, get a prescription to some lovely wakey-wakey pills that have made all the difference, called Provigil -- notice what those clever pharmaceutical marketers did with the name?
This morning I gleaned two excellent facts: on The Street they're known as zombie pills, and by taking them I was unknowingly being trained to be a next-gen hyperalert killing machine. Sweet!
From the BBC:
A controversial drug which can keep people awake for days has been tested by the UK military, MPs have been told.Thanks modern medicine!
Modafinil pills - known on the drugs scene as "zombies" - are used to treat the rare sleeping disorder narcolepsy.
The Ministry of Defence has previously denied testing the drug on troops although it reportedly bought thousands of pills ahead of the Iraq war.
Defence contractor Qinetiq told the commons' science committee the drug had recently been tested for military use.