Friday, October 6

The Art of Being the Hoff

Step 1: Show up drunk for a live TV appearance to promote the rancid piece of Hollywood garbage that is "Click," and mispronounce the name of your costar as "Adam Sanglier."
Step 2: Pass out in the airport lounge. A Popbitch reader spotted him in Heathrow's BMI lounge, "clearly very animated and excited about his flight. He chatted loudly and enthusiastically to everyone, then seemed to get suddenly very tired. He fell into a deep, deep sleep until he was woken by his mobile phone. When the caller asked where he was, he bellowed: 'I think I'm in Dublin'."

Step 3: Forcibly expel your automotive long-term companion KITT from the gay car closet:

"We have some fairly X-rated outtakes on 'Knight Rider,'" he told students at Trinity College, Dublin, where presumably he's a visiting scholar teaching a seminar in Becoming a Huge Star....In Germany 101.

"Kitt was constantly asking, 'Do you want me to take you home Michael?' in that very camp voice of his."

William Daniels was not immediately available for comment.

Step 4: At no time allow anyone to hassel you.

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