Osama Bin-Laden, book critic, unleashes his weapons of mass deconstruction on ace Detroit Free-Press sports columnist turned best-selling schlock-meister Mitch Albom's "Five People That You Meet in Heaven":
"I could have scratched out a better book on my wall with a sharp flint. Fellow word-lovers duped into reading this propagandistic pabulum, take heart: I will seek personal vengeance and see to it that Albom meets his five people very soon. (Apologies to those who reside in or around the Detroit area.)"
Bonus review: "Life of Pi": "I needed a few more dollars in my shopping cart to receive free Super Saver Shipping from the entrepreneurial vultures of Amazon, so this ended up costing very little: the best six dollars I ever rerouted from my joint Swiss bank account with Halliburton."