The nexus of childhood joy that is Chuck E. Cheese -- beloved by children to the point of tears, hated by parents with a deep, burning passion -- has been forced to recall a whistle (cost: 5 Skeeball tickets) that presents a substantial risk of "the most festive asphyxiation ever," Consumerist reports. "It would appear that losing an arm to an animatronic bear is now the second-leading injury at Chuck E. Cheese."
I vividly remember a tramautic episode from my youth when my parents promised a Chuck E. Cheese outing, only to find when we arrived that it had permanently closed. I was one inconsolable 17 year old.