Thursday, November 10

We Can Rebuild Him....In the Ritz Carlton of Hospitals

After six months of lumbar drama, I finally went under the knife on Tuesday to get my back fixed, hopefully once and for all, with a microdiscectomy. My doctor made a two inch incision in my back, moved some muscles and nerves out of the way, and lopped off the bulge in my disc that has been causing me so much anguish.

Guess what? It effing worked!

At least that's how it looks on day two after the procedure, from my vantage point in what has to be the most ridiculously plush hospital this side of Shangri-La. The Princess Grace -- where the Queen and other royals go for treatment -- boasts hotel-style private rooms, flat screen TVs, a mini-bar, room service and a wine list!

The steak sandwich with Dijon mayonnaise is particularly ace.

In case you wondering, I am indeed blogging from my hospital bed thanks to magical "wireless" Internet access.

I'm thinking about moving in full time, especially if I can keep my morphine wristwatch.

Yes, you read that correctly: I have a morphine bottle pinned onto my PJs, hooked up to a device on my wrist, which then feeds into an IV. I press the button on the wristwatch, and it's morphine city.

It's all about patient empowerment, people.

I've been up and walking since the day after surgery, and I can't tell you how good it feels to not have pain and numbness in my leg. Kelly and my Mom have been incredibly attentive and kind by my bedside, the hospital staff have been excellent, and tonight for dinner I'm having fennel and leek soup for a starter, followed by sea bream, and sticky toffee pudding for dessert -- accompanied by an insouciant Sancerre.

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