Friday, November 18

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer...

Too bad he has never cried.

Behold, 30 fascinating facts you may not have known about Chuck Norris:
-- Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

-- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

-- The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

-- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

-- Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

-- If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

-- The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
Visit Chuck's round-housing Web site, which includes an audio greeting and a "Farewell to Walker" letter.

Don't like Chuck Norris? Try Waxing the Hoff.

Thursday, November 10

We Can Rebuild Him....In the Ritz Carlton of Hospitals

After six months of lumbar drama, I finally went under the knife on Tuesday to get my back fixed, hopefully once and for all, with a microdiscectomy. My doctor made a two inch incision in my back, moved some muscles and nerves out of the way, and lopped off the bulge in my disc that has been causing me so much anguish.

Guess what? It effing worked!

At least that's how it looks on day two after the procedure, from my vantage point in what has to be the most ridiculously plush hospital this side of Shangri-La. The Princess Grace -- where the Queen and other royals go for treatment -- boasts hotel-style private rooms, flat screen TVs, a mini-bar, room service and a wine list!

The steak sandwich with Dijon mayonnaise is particularly ace.

In case you wondering, I am indeed blogging from my hospital bed thanks to magical "wireless" Internet access.

I'm thinking about moving in full time, especially if I can keep my morphine wristwatch.

Yes, you read that correctly: I have a morphine bottle pinned onto my PJs, hooked up to a device on my wrist, which then feeds into an IV. I press the button on the wristwatch, and it's morphine city.

It's all about patient empowerment, people.

I've been up and walking since the day after surgery, and I can't tell you how good it feels to not have pain and numbness in my leg. Kelly and my Mom have been incredibly attentive and kind by my bedside, the hospital staff have been excellent, and tonight for dinner I'm having fennel and leek soup for a starter, followed by sea bream, and sticky toffee pudding for dessert -- accompanied by an insouciant Sancerre.

Friday, November 4

Catchy in Your Ear Hole

I haven't heard a piece of ear candy like "Walking With A Ghost" since the year two-thousand-and-never. (200N)

First came Tegan & Sara's original version, then Jack and Meg White got their little red and black and white mittens on it in a smoking cover version.

There's even a techno remix if that's your sort of thing.

I double dog dare you not to be subsummed in the catchy musical goodness.

Tuesday, November 1

You Say Gulf of Tonkin, I Say WMD

The Gulf of Tonkin incident -- in which North Vietnam purportedly attacked U.S. destroyers -- was used to get to the U.S. into Vietnam. We all know how that war turned out.

Fast forward to 2002, when a internal investigation found that NSA officers deliberately skewed intelligence to conclude that North Vietnam was responsible. No massive surprise there, but check out what came next:

The NSA historians tried to go public. Today's NY Times reports:
But their effort was rebuffed by higher-level agency policymakers, who by the next year were fearful that it might prompt uncomfortable comparisons with the flawed intelligence used to justify the war in Iraq, according to an intelligence official familiar with some internal discussions of the matter.

Where in the World Has Adam Been

A depressingly small sliver. Via the great mapping function on write-your-own travel guide site World 66