Thursday, April 21

50 Ways to Get Fired


A selection from Phat Phree's hilarious list:

-- 42. The Ma Fratelli: Take whatever money you have in your pocket and make B&W copies of the bills on the office copy machine while laughing manically and repeating, "It’s too fucking easy…"

-- 14. The Fredo: Arrive at work early and hide under your boss' desk. When the boss arrives, do nothing but hide for the first three hours. Then roll up his pants so slowly he doesn't notice. Then lick his shin. After he finishes freaking out and asks you what the hell you're doing, tell him that he's crazy, and that you have no idea what he’s talking about. Do the “screws loose” gesture with your hands, and then kiss him on the mouth and say, "You broke my heart."

5. The Hasselhoff*: Explain that where you come from, a Speedo and an unbuttoned shirt is considered "business casual." * God, any excuse to use this photo. Hasselhoff, you handsome bastard.

-- 4. The Finger Licking Good: Whenever you leave the employee bathroom, rather than washing your hands, lick your fingers like you just had a delicious meal.

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