Thursday, October 16

Cubs lose, Apocolypse averted


The Chicago Cubs choked away a three-run lead with their best pitcher on the mound, a mere six outs away from their first World Series trip since the Battle of Hastings in 1066. This delayed one half of a possible Seventh Seal Series featured those lovable, hapless Cubbies and their diamond foils in futility, the profoundly evil Boston Red Sox, who dutifully capitulated to the New York Yankees. The Red Sox have suffered a similar drought in World Series championships, last winning when their ancestors in the English Imperial Rounders League, the Shropshire Long-Stockinged Dandies, at the high tea immediately following the signing of the Magna Carta in 1215.


Please, Sox and Cubs, don't steam off the envelope glue of the infinite just to "Reverse the Curse" or "Beat to Death the Billy Goat," I like my life, and it would be much harder to enjoy my escapades if everything is reduced to primordial soup.

Go Yankees.

[Ed: I hate the Yankees but you have to admit that's comedy gold]

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